shoot the clown

there is alcoholism in my family.

And now I’m in my 40s and only just coming to terms with all of the pain.
I was going to write more, but this is really hard.

So for now I leave it to Nick.
Who seems to be describing many homes? people? psyches?
‘You want to know how to write a song?’ just watch. I mean, really watch.
send in the clown.
the clown had to be shot.
but the clown is bleeding…

Edit* hmmmm that last line is a tad dramatic says the clown…


  1. Shoot the clown. Wow. So much in so little. I can’t remember if I’ve written about my complicated relationship with alcohol. My father was addicted. I no longer use the phrase “high-functioning” because I no longer believe there is such a thing. There are people who successfully perform their jobs, drive their cars, attend parties, and more without their addiction becoming apparent. But that don’t translate to “functioning.”

    Keep on keeping on!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for your comment. I really appreciate it. I am sorry to hear about your father. And you are right…I do use “high-functioning”, but you are so right. It isn’t functioning at all, it leaves carnage…and being a clown doesn’t help anyone…so much denial in my family. And stripping away my coping mechanisms to deal with it properly is really hard but the best decision I have made in a long time. Thanks so much for the encouragement!

      Liked by 1 person

    • I guess my other point about the music as well, is that the music is already written, it is all around us, it’s about really paying attention to it, because it so struck me in Nick’s description that he was just describing many home lives really…many lives…


    • Do you? That’s so wonderful he’s at a year!! I am happy for all of you!
      This clip is from ‘20,000 days on earth’, I believe. I haven’t had a chance to see that either.
      PS I just posted my ‘back side of the night’. I so appreciate your encouragement and connecting ❀

      Liked by 1 person

hi. friendly banter is always welcome.

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