the book with no names

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So for those of you who don’t know, I am married to a Lutheran pastor.

I could seriously write a book about what life has been like in the last 20+ years living this reality. The thing is, if I did, I would have to kill everyone first. Because changing names wouldn’t be enough.
I jest, of course!

But, these people are dear to my heart. My husband is the pastor of five churches and our churches are small. And of course, microcosms of greater realities. There are times I have enjoyed worshipping with big congregations. The fellowship can be incredible. However, for people with anxiety issues, being welcomed into a smaller community has been an extremely healing thing for them, and we have witnessed beautiful things that literally brings tears to my eyes.

One of the highlights for me was when a very reclusive gentleman, who has some serious anxiety issues for a number of reasons, finally joined our smallest congregation. To say that it terrifies him to join a large group of people, would be a grave understatement. So to see his ongoing healing from the love in that community, has been nothing short of amazing. Last year, he called our house to wish me a happy birthday on behalf of their little church. It is hard for me to put into words what that meant to me, because I know the agony he would have gone through before he made that call. (Please don’t tell him I wrote about him, he would die! 🙂 )

I truly feel blessed I am a part of all of this. And I will always be proud to be a part of these families. Warts and all.

(And thank you WordPress, for being another “family” I have come to love.)



  1. Reply

    How lovely yo know this about you Vanessa, I knew you were a bright soul from the start, even not meeting you I could feel you through the words you wrote and you are beautiful inside. You are the blessing too, please remember that!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reply

    That was beautiful. I bash religion with a fair amount of frequency on my page, but I hope it’s clear to whoever reads it that I’m only admonishing those who do horrible things in the name of God. When faith and worship actually inspire charity and compassion, as is clearly the case here, it warms my heart.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Reply

    Dear Vanessa, I didn’t know that, and it does help to know that and only makes me respect you more. I personally do not believe in God but I believe in the rights of others to have faith and I truly believe those who do believe in God are happier. I have often wished I could. I respect those who use their faith for love as you do. Hugs xo Thank you

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Reply

      Candice, what a kind, and very interesting comment you have made.
      I truly cherish having your respect, and I respect you and your kind heart.
      What an interesting observation you have made about happiness. It reminds me of something a nurse told me once years ago, that in her experience, christians “died the best”. It was a lot more of a peaceful experience, and that is a very intriguing conversation to have.
      Speaking for myself, it is about peace of mind, underneath the chaos. Pain is deeply felt, but that it is ultimately temporary. And love. The ultimate love. One that isn’t meant to be forced. But it’s hard to write about such things without falling into cliches. Might be a better email conversation 🙂
      Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. This was ultimately about my heart bursting with gratefulness for the lovely people in my husband’s care…a rag tag bunch…very eclectic and I love it. (and we are very much in their care too!) Hugs to you too!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Reply

        I would definitely agree having faith is never a bad thing and makes life more meaningful I have often deeply wished I did but I seem incapable of believing so it’s not my gate but I do see the benefit in so many as well as the compassion

        Liked by 1 person

hi. friendly banter is always welcome.

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