Insecurities and other such fun things…

David Ruston

So I was merrily going my way along WordPress today, and then I saw a quote, (egads I hear you say)… it reminded me of something that had been on my mind, but wasn’t sure I should divulge.

I live, mostly, in a general state of bewilderment, and it has been such a wonderful surprise to discover the amount of other people on WP in such a state. I feel like we should be stretching out a big picnic blanket and then oohing and aahing over all of the somewhat disgustingly interesting food we would bring out of our baskets. (Just a forewarning…my food will be a perfect candidate for those “Nailed It” comparison posts on social media I never get sick of.) Plus, you will have to be patient with me as I fight urges to hug everyone, which I do constantly when I read your gut wrenching, devastatingly glorious writing.
But I think I am digressing, I’m not sure.

So, darn, I can’t remember what this post was going to be about…
Hopefully this very motivating link will remind me:
Poetic MotivationsΒ at Davy D’s blog. (Thanks again Davy.)

Oh yes, whenever I read interesting things about different writers and they start listing their favourite writers and influences, I am reminded of what a vast, empty space my mind can be, with maybe a cute kitten bumbling through every now and then. (Or maybe it’s a very small space, overcrowded by cute kittens, distracting me from not so cute things)…And also because my memory is awful.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to read. It’s just that I have so much trouble focussing, that I honestly haven’t done it very much in recent years. (Plus, any reading I have done has been theological by some rather brilliant friends.) So, I have been rather embarrassed about my neglect, but this quote reminded me of why I have more recently decided that I won’t be. Plus, it was never my goal to sound or read like anyone else.

Ugh, where am I going with this?

I think I have actually found a point…I am more than profoundly moved and inspired by the talent on WordPress. What a wonderfully therapeutic experience it has been. I am so grateful. Plus, you have reminded me of things that were buried, very deeply.

And to my remarkable parents, who are well educated and just plain intelligent.

And I am grateful to an old friend who planted the seed for me to start blogging in the first place. He doesn’t think I should give him any credit. (Maybe it’s because he has read my stuff hahaha.) But I am grateful to him more than I can ever say. In fact, through all of the years I have known him, he has busted out a few insightful things that have really helped me. He most likely doesn’t even remember. It doesn’t matter.

Anyway, I know I have said this before, but thank you, from the bottom of my heart.Β 

68 thoughts on “Insecurities and other such fun things…

  1. And you are part of that wonderful WordPress talent Vanessa, so thank you for the soul, thoughts and poetry you bring to the blanket (oh and the madness πŸ™‚ )

    Liked by 3 people

  2. As much as you say people give you here,
    You give them more. ❀️
    And even saying that made me emotional.
    But as much as these two words don’t express the depth of what they are actually saying for me,
    Thank you

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I truly consider it a gift our paths have crossed! Your lovely words mean so much to me, even if I don’t agree with them πŸ˜›
      And you are most welcome. Friendship with you is an absolute pleasure! I am so grateful. ❀


    1. Welcome to WP!! And I agree. It is a wonderful community, one we all need in light of the way of the world and other social media platforms. I hope you will find the support you need here as well πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I was thinking about this last night too, how much the fellow writers of this online community have become part of my thoughts, prayers too. I’m grateful to have these wonderful talents be blooming in my mind, even when I’m not immediately reading their words. Love your idea, but, ahem, I’d be grateful if you not pull vegemite out of your picnic basket;)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, I love your thoughts, I have them too.
      haha vegemite! thanks, I hadn’t even thought of it! I feel sad you have clearly had a bad experience with it? lol. It is like some kinds of poetry, misunderstood if not applied with the love it deserves. Not that I am biased… πŸ™‚


  4. I am glad we found each other, V. You’re one of the good ones, still mostly innocent and wishing the best for everyone.

    Well, I wish the best for you, and you deserve good things. πŸ™‚


    1. Oh Brian, when I read “still mostly innocent” I laughed out loud.
      Haha far from it! Who is anyway?
      My husband and I have seen very dark things over the years, in others, in ourselves, in our families. So much, in fact, that it was easy to despair at times.
      But I have also had the privilege/blessing of seeing lives transformed by love and kindness, forgiveness, and God – powerful forces!
      I’ve been burned. I am very aware of how manipulative humans are. I am constantly fighting my own cynicism. But I would still rather give people the benefit of the doubt when I can. Depending on circumstance, of course. Naive or not. And I would still much rather spread love and kindness in a world that needs it so. How else can cycles and generational consequences be broken?

      And I am very sincere in my gratefulness for the WordPress community.

      Thank you for your comment and your well wishes, I really appreciate it.
      I wish you all good things too.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think you approach life, and people, with an optimism that few possess. It’s not naivete, it’s you looking at the good in people. Sure, some of those people have let you down, but I’m certain that you haven’t let THEM down, if they’re honest.

        I love, agree with and have thought about your idea of generational consequence cycles being broken. So true, and I’ve seen people replicate their pasts, and overcompensate for their pasts. The most beautiful and heartwarming thing is when a person can sidestep a dark part of their past and acknowledge it without letting it define or control them.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Thank you, your comments are kind! And I am sure I have let people down. It’s very sweet of you to say those things.
          I agree, it is important to acknowledge those things,to take responsibility and ownership and deal with them in a healthy way. (I can so overanalyse and get rather OCD about some things.) It’s liberating to do that instead of making excuses and/or blaming others for everything. Such a destructive, heart breaking cycle, that one. Always, a work in progress, right?!?!?!
          And, there’s always cake πŸ™‚

          Liked by 1 person

            1. Well yes, at least I hope it’s always progress no matter the past, and not regress. Oh that inspires me to write something silly…hmmmm
              You should wash your mouth out with cake for calling it just good πŸ™‚ You mean, freaking one of the greatest gifts to humanity, well, that’s how I will read it.

              Liked by 2 people

  5. Dear Vanessa, I so loved this piece! It is so amazing to have the experience we get from our Friends, Followers and readers, isn’t it! Thank You, Dear Lady for the wonderful toast to which I say, Here, Here and that goes the same for me!!!

    I got into blogging with a push to and I just talked to my daughter and told her how much I will always be indebted to her for getting me to blog. I hope Your friend comes to accept his role no matter if he sees it or believes it was so small. If the first domino doesn’t fall, nothing happens! He pushed the first domino!!

    We Love You, Girl!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi! What a lovely thing to say, that also made me chuckle. Thank you!
      I can’t even remember how we stumbled on to each other, but I enjoy your “meanderings” haha, I think you are a great writer!
      And thank you for your encouragement, too, I really appreciate it!

      Liked by 1 person

hi. friendly banter is always welcome.

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