you are not alone


Summer stretches out

the viscous my mind’s pushing

through, enticing me,


to take a dive down

into the undulating

clarity telling


myself that it is

possible to take with me

what I know now and


swim without any

paraphernalia, (like

er, oxygen tanks?)


No, that’s not what I

mean. So I should take a breath

and when I find me


down there thrashing the

life I think is unique to

me in my naive


(but adorable)

youthfulness, I would say, “HEY!

You need to hear Dwight.


And wear these goggles.

(And don’t open that email.)

And trust me. I’m you.”


originally posted, March 21st, 2017



56 thoughts on “you are not alone

  1. sounds like you want to push the limits but convention is holding you back. Ignore the rules, capitalise in the middle of sentences not only at the start. Breathe without tanks or oxygen sometimes everything is just an urban legend. Intrigued by your arrangement of words and read it twice but it still seemed to say the same thing, like a silent rebellion brewing.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi. Thanks for your feedback! It’s so interesting to get other impressions, thank you.
      I started to write a haiku and it got longer…lol.
      It is actually pretty hot and humid here right now, so it literally feels rather viscous!…and I’ve been contemplating relationships and some counsel I’ve given recently, and some other things I am involved in, and it struck me again how bad humans are at communicating. For all kinds of reasons. And listening. The viscosity has to do with listening issues, and some frustration I feel. And then so wishing I had been better at communicating when I was younger. So no, I don’t feel the need to push limits of convention, well, except the conventional problem that humans don’t understand that we all have the same basic needs, and we aren’t alone, and how we ignore good advice when we are young etc etc. haha I have never felt the need to write conventionally 🙂
      the oxygen tank thing has more to do with my impatience and lack of forethought, and my silly humour…by the time I found my young self, I would only have enough time to say that one thing before having to leave for oxygen! lol.

      Liked by 3 people

      • and you said it all in one breath! well communication is the toughest part of human interaction for me. I read what the words seems to say to me but you are creator and have designer’s rights – just me and my crazy outlook on life. it is still an intriguing write that can be read in a myriad of ways. Skillfully done Vanessa!

        Liked by 2 people

        • Thank you! That is very kind.
          That is something I like about poetry, is that readers get different things out of it, like other art too. Sometimes I think it is fun to be ambiguous, other times, I want to be more understood, so feedback is really valuable, thank you. And also considering communication is so on my mind hahaha
          I was just thinking, too, it would have made sense to bring my younger self the oxygen tank, lol but I was obviously thinking about the way she was viewing everything…
          I appreciate you taking the time!

          Liked by 1 person

    • haha I am so glad, considering that was the hope with this!! Ugh, I so wish I was wiser back then, to talk to someone! I was telling others that, not taking my own advice, of course.
      And thank you! That is really kind. I do try to use brevity because otherwise, I am a hopeless rambler. And no, don’t wish to change what you do, because you are really good at it!! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • I think, no matter what you say, we all feel alone inside. Call it your ego, call it whatever, but I think there’s always a voice in our ear that whispers to stay quiet, and carry this yourself. Maybe it’s learned. There were so many times I know I tried to talk and got nowhere. It’s almost as if people get uncomfortable whenever someone has the audacity to take off their mask and say “I’m hurting here”. I think the best thing for me has been creeping around WordPress and seeing how many other people write poems that say the same feelings. I think we all try to talk, we just never use the real words, if that makes sense.

        Thank you Vanessa, that’s so kind of you I’m blushing! You’re not too shabby yourself!! 😊❤️😘

        Liked by 2 people

        • Yes, you are right. I think there are a number of contributing factors, one of them being, that western culture is hopeless at community. We have made a god of self sufficiency imho.
          But it is so about listening too, isn’t it? I am married to a pastor, and there is definitely a sense that people didn’t expect us to have issues. In fact, someone I counselled just last year said exactly that to me…she stared at me and said it never occurred to her for a moment that we could have problems and relate! So I wonder that people in all kind of care giving vocations must experience that too. But it is a thing that people get uncomfortable if you say you are not okay. I guess they think you might expect something from them as well…we do like to have things on our own terms…I could easily start rambling lol.

          And the compliment is totally well deserved! haha, why thank you ❤


            • haha good question!!
              But it is something I have pondered more since using social media…more written conversations and less conversations in person…when you see your thoughts in black and white, it’s more confronting sometimes I believe.

              Liked by 1 person

              • I understand that completely. I think it is better to put something in writing with more time to think about the words and the way I am saying something! Confonting? Well, sometimes it’s harder because the back and forth is slower and can be misunderstood.

                Liked by 1 person

                • I think there is good and bad with both. I think we miss a lot without body language and tone of voice and facial expressions. In that sense, emojis can be helpful. But I think we are missing out on the effects of actual presence, or even with hand written letters, they are just so much more personal. We do the best with what we have, right? 🙂

                  Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, I was drowning at the time. And thank you for the wonderful compliment.
    And I am sure you do at times, you are so amazing to me, how you have survived.
    I love you too, my beautiful, miracle daughter ❤


    • Wow, thanks Steve, I’m honoured.
      And, somehow, I am not surprised you were in love with a number once. I’m so sorry to bring this bad news to you. Was it an inter-planetary number? Maybe this doesn’t apply to numbers that are not earthly…
      Hmmm the goggle thing…I would say yes.

      Liked by 1 person

      • You’re welcome, Vanessa. What bad news? With Boltzmann’s Constant k, I thought it was love, but it was just a schoolboy infatuation. My true love was Planck’s Constant h that connects the quantum world with the macroscopic world and defines Heisenberg uncertainty.

        Ah how many hours I spent admiring it in my Handbook of Physical Constants, wondering what universal secrets it might hold. In fact I’m getting excited just thinking about it. Or I would if I could stop laughing.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Loved the thought of going back to a younger you. I’ve read some really good posts on this thought like “Writing a letter to the Younger Me”. Caused me to really contemplate whether or not it was such a great idea. Sure I could be fabulously wealthy with prior knowledge of the stock market but would I really want to give up everything I am today???

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think your summery viscous words are too deep for me, I need the oxygen tanks, flippers, goggles, and lead weights to hold me down, while I’m contemplating over a few more words and wondering what am I drowning for, or maybe it’s nine, and I’m too tired being todays plumber.

    Liked by 1 person

hi. friendly banter is always welcome.

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