it’s time to sleep

the reckoning and the reasoning and the ripening and then the sneezing

the forces unmeasured in the revolt and then the squeezing

of the music into lifelines that drip with hoped unheeding

and she’s covering her ears so no one sees the internal bleeding

with the streams of the thoughts she cannot appropriate

and the dreams and the oughts that she cannot estimate

within her fevered running soul that’s forgotten where it’s been

the itching of the scratch is not at all what they said it’d seem

and she holds the words in front of her in hands that shake with dread

they’re in her own heart language but unrecognized instead

in their current configuration that has come from somewhere other

and if only she could sleep now…




27 thoughts on “it’s time to sleep

    1. saynotoclowns says:

      Hi Gina.
      Thank you so much!
      I was listening to music as I often do before bed, and stumbled on this piece. It’s so cinematic, within a couple of minutes this had all come out.
      I really enjoy writing fiction, but there were things blended in here that evidently needed to come out,a stream of consciousness thing I haven’t done in ages!
      Thank you for your always thoughtful words ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Singledust says:

        sorry i am so late in replying, be terribly busy with stuff! and i read your email and wanted to reply you properly too. you do fiction so well, it’s rare that you post it here but the times you have it’s been one of the best writing from you. music does not inspire me as much as images do so I am always amazed at how you work the music into your poetry, for that matter how your heart processes it. my pleasure always to read your words Vanessa!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. saynotoclowns says:

          Gina! Please don’t apologise…You know I am not around every day either. It’s perfectly fine.

          And thank you so much for your feedback! I do enjoy writing it. There’s just been so much taking my emotional energy, I know it’s depleted my writing. It was really starting to get me down. So thank you from my whole heart!

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Singledust says:

            like you i wish i could spend more time on reading blogs too, so much of talent out there, yours included in my usual list.

            the toll on emotional energy can drain us just as much or even more than physical stress and you need an outlet for that, writing is one way for sure, but yes sometimes it can paralyze us too. i know that too well. however it is you are do come back strong when you do write.

            Liked by 1 person

  1. ivor20 says:

    A truly heartfelt poem, and i totally immersed myself in these two fascinating lines.
    “within her fevered running soul that’s forgotten where it’s been
    the itching of the scratch is not at all what they said it’d seem”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. saynotoclowns says:

      Hi Ivor, thank you so much. I feel honoured that you spent time in it.
      This piece of music created a world in my mind that combined a number of things that have been brewing for a little while, I think.

      How are you, and your computer these days?!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. saynotoclowns says:

      Diana! Hi!
      Your comment is so interesting…that is how I felt…the music of it quite overwhelmed me as I started writing it, but I think it matched the urgency of the compulsion I felt to just get it out. I got so caught up in this world in my mind, but it was a therapeutic moment I needed more than I realised.
      Thanks so much!
      Hope you’re well and still having lovely summer days?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Diana says:

        Hey V!! *runs up and gives you a helluva hug*
        I love the description of how you composed this. It shows how “in the zone” you were; It is almost like a trance sometimes isn’t it?
        Summer is fabulous … obsessed with the outdoors and two wheel adventures (Moto and bicycle) …. trails and fresh berries and mountain air!! Ahhh!!
        Are you well sweetheart?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. saynotoclowns says:

          hahaha I love that. Thank you. Hug totally reciprocated!
          Yes, it’s interesting isn’t it? It’s like my mind sometimes stores away these nuts like a squirrel, haha and then when the time is finally right, they get cracked, but all at once I guess.
          Your summer does sound fabulous! I’m so happy to hear it!!
          And I am doing okay, thank you! We’ve had lots of super emotional things going on lately, but all things considered, we’re doing okay, and I am grateful for that. Putting other serious stuff out of our minds till his next scan in Nov, and like you said, trusting that there will be no changes etc, just a peace of mind protocol hopefully.
          Thanks for your comments ❤


hi. friendly banter is always welcome.

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