say no to clowns

ebullient decay…

“adam and eve” (take two) — May 5, 2017
— May 2, 2017
the aching sweetness of pierce… — April 15, 2017
you know I’ll only say wiedersehen — April 10, 2017
stormy syntax silenced — April 2, 2017
something (part two) — March 31, 2017
it’s not hard to see — March 29, 2017

it’s not hard to see

So for those of you who don’t know, I am married to a pastor.

I could seriously write a book about what life has been like in the last 20+ years living this reality. The thing is, if I did, I would have to kill everyone first. Because changing names wouldn’t be enough.
I jest, of course!

But today, I was listening to one of my favourite mashups, and I felt the need to give a shoutout to our church families.

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something (part one) — March 26, 2017
No one knows me like… — March 12, 2017
in honour of a birth — February 11, 2017
prayer — January 26, 2017
tsunami — January 19, 2017

tsunami

(there was a time, many years ago, when I was interested in Satanism.  (I wasn’t a goth.)  I was rescued from it. It’s not something I talk about much anymore. And I’m not looking to now. But I so love this song, it perfectly captures that time of my life. This poem honestly just bled out of me…)

~*~

every colour of the distant rainbow

on the tip of time’s paintbrush

thrown against the wall of my dreams

colours thrashed together by the momentum

leaving the greyest indentation

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the silence after the implosion was not deafening — January 13, 2017
origamied — December 29, 2016
loop pool (part two) — November 26, 2016
saudade — October 5, 2016

saudade

alex-at-maslins-2015-1
It’s been a word on my mind for years. Well, not the word, actually. Because I don’t speak Portuguese. (And in case you don’t either: saudade)

But we all know its colours and its scents and its sounds. We all know where to go to find its vividestness.  Perhaps, some kind of closet…

(And we all wish it were a word in English, because, I mean, Saudade!) 

One of the things I love about CS Lewis…he can take a heartwrenching word like this one and give it resolution. Not by his own invention of course, but in his descriptions of Christ realities – whether he’s taking it to another heavenly/”far-off country”/Christ longing level in the Narnia series, (hidden in a closet, no less) …or in brilliant descriptions like this one The inconsolable secret.

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nepenthe of nepenthes — September 12, 2016