Christian, personal, prose
silhouette of graves

Photo by Micael Widell on Pexels.com

When my husband and I married all those years ago, cough…my mind wasn’t prepared for how well acquainted we would become with death, he especially. So much church and ministry life happens quietly, behind the scenes, as it should, and there are these extraordinary, jewelled moments, of being with people before, and as they die. These privileged moments of intimacy, I would not normally have had, and for the most part, I am very grateful for them.

One of my most precious life experiences was to type up the memoirs of one of our dear elderly church members, for his family. He dictated to me his life story. It is one of the most profoundly moving experiences I have ever had. His humility often moved me to tears. And on one particular day, it struck me just what an intimate experience it was, being privy to things no one else in his family knew about. But he died before we were finished, which devastated me.

It has been a few years now, since he passed away, and I still miss him immensely. His wife was, and still is, one of the organists for one of our churches. After his death, she still insisted on playing, even though her intense grief affected it. I remember one Sunday when she simply stumbled to a complete stop during the liturgy. The congregation kept singing, even louder than normal for her sake, and it was one of the most beautiful and heartfelt moments I have ever been a part of. It also made me think we should sing unaccompanied a lot more often! It was divine.

We are currently in a time of death – deaths always come in, at least, threes. And I have posted about this before, (my third post I think it was!) with this monumental clip, which I wanted to post again. So that it is in my face for a while.
And I hope you will enjoy it, too, even just for its gorgeous artistry.

 

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a little fun or something, General bewilderment, personal, prose, Uncategorizable

it begs a poem, doesn’t it?

pin cushion (2)

I was recently at my parents’. 
And I saw this-

a small pin cushion I had made for my mother when I was in high school, when I first learnt some cross stitching.

I can’t believe my mother is now eighty years old, and she is still using it!

Her sense of humour well and truly intact, as that spear of a needle in its right ear, was, initially, right in the middle of her forehead (that innocent bunny’s, not my mother’s).

It is funny about memory, because I had completely forgotten about it, of course, but as soon as I saw it, I remembered how upset I was that I had made a stitching mistake on its left ear. And I had somehow missed a couple of stitches on the other ear.  My sweet mother didn’t want me to fix it, but I remember how utterly crushed I was.

Yesterday I watched a video on a science site about intelligence.
Behold a short conversation I had with my husband this morning:

Me: I watched a video yesterday…blah blah…and it turns out I could be a perfectionist.
Husband: slowly closing refrigerator door…
come to think of it, I can’t describe, accurately, the look on his face…

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General bewilderment, personal, prose

resemblance? reassemblance?

Sigh.

I am on Facebook. And a number of things have happened recently where I have really re-pondered social media.

Then a pastor friend posted this video about Facebook, including interviews with a couple of the original players. It was timely. If you find yourself with a spare 15 minutes sometime, I really recommend you watch it. You may have already seen it, and I know a lot of you have the same concerns etc. (Something I have loved about WP, it seems that generally there is a shared spirit amongst users that it doesn’t become toxic like these other platforms. Of course, it does sometimes, but overall, my experience has been wonderful. I hope yours has too.)

(It does have a clickbait title, unfortunately. But it is a very worthwhile video.)

I have thought about ways to be a little more real on here, too..I did record myself reading one of my poems, but I have had trouble uploading it. Not a hard process in theory, and I followed all of the steps, and it is still not working. I will persevere…

In the mean time, I thought I would add a selfie I took today. I really don’t like taking them, so there won’t be more for a while and it is in black and white because, geez, I don’t want to be that real… Plus, I didn’t want to make you jealous, northern hemispherers, by showing off my tan 🤡 Actually, it isn’t a big deal. I hardly wear makeup, after all.

selfie 25Jan18

And now it is really warm outside, and in the spirit of taking my ponderings seriously about screen time, I am signing off for now to go have a drink with my husband. Hopefully catch you soon as I really do love reading and looking at all of your amazing work! Take care WPers. Let’s make a better world…or at least, try.

Vanessa

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a little fun or something, General bewilderment, personal, prose

David Ruston

So I was merrily going my way along WordPress today, and then I saw a quote, (egads I hear you say)… it reminded me of something that had been on my mind, but wasn’t sure I should divulge.

I live, mostly, in a general state of bewilderment, and it has been such a wonderful surprise to discover the amount of other people on WP in such a state. I feel like we should be stretching out a big picnic blanket and then oohing and aahing over all of the somewhat disgustingly interesting food we would bring out of our baskets. (Just a forewarning…my food will be a perfect candidate for those “Nailed It” comparison posts on social media I never get sick of.) Plus, you will have to be patient with me as I fight urges to hug everyone, which I do constantly when I read your gut wrenching, devastatingly glorious writing.
But I think I am digressing, I’m not sure.

So, darn, I can’t remember what this post was going to be about…
Hopefully this very motivating link will remind me:
Poetic Motivations at Davy D’s blog. (Thanks again Davy.)

Oh yes, whenever I read interesting things about different writers and they start listing their favourite writers and influences, I am reminded of what a vast, empty space my mind can be, with maybe a cute kitten bumbling through every now and then. (Or maybe it’s a very small space, overcrowded by cute kittens, distracting me from not so cute things)…And also because my memory is awful.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to read. It’s just that I have so much trouble focussing, that I honestly haven’t done it very much in recent years. (Plus, any reading I have done has been theological by some rather brilliant friends.) So, I have been rather embarrassed about my neglect, but this quote reminded me of why I have more recently decided that I won’t be. Plus, it was never my goal to sound or read like anyone else.

Ugh, where am I going with this?

I think I have actually found a point…I am more than profoundly moved and inspired by the talent on WordPress. What a wonderfully therapeutic experience it has been. I am so grateful. Plus, you have reminded me of things that were buried, very deeply.

And to my remarkable parents, who are well educated and just plain intelligent.

And I am grateful to an old friend who planted the seed for me to start blogging in the first place. He doesn’t think I should give him any credit. (Maybe it’s because he has read my stuff hahaha.) But I am grateful to him more than I can ever say. In fact, through all of the years I have known him, he has busted out a few insightful things that have really helped me. He most likely doesn’t even remember. It doesn’t matter.

Anyway, I know I have said this before, but thank you, from the bottom of my heart. 

Insecurities and other such fun things…

Quote
personal, prose

So…

here’s the thing…

I have some health issues that need tending to, and like a lot of people, it has been easy to neglect taking care of myself for a while now.
But I really have to.
So I am not going to be stalking all of you beloved WP talents as much as I normally would. And that’s A LOT. And I have done it unapologetically, because, quite frankly, you are amazing. And inspiring. And I cannot put into words how you have enhanced my life. So, thank you. From the deepest, and sometimes, weirdest, recesses of my heart 😛

I need to be spending some serious time “dancing” with my in-the-flesh life. I am trying to live by these wise guidelines, and I thought I would share them 😉

Prear's wedding Easter Sunday.jpg

I will still be around, just not as much.

And this song goes here because, well, I love it.

Oh and this.
Let’s dance. xo

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personal, prose, Uncategorizable

It’s that time again…

that same time…always that exact time…1:27 am,
(although, yesterday, come to think of it, it was more like 11.30,
and then the night before it was 12.45,

and then, I think earlier in the week it was actually in the daytime, but it could have been 1.27pm, now I hadn’t thought of that, but I know it wasn’t 1.23 because I purposely don’t look at the clock at that time, and of course, there’s the whole 11.11 thing, which is another time I don’t look at the clock, because, well, it’s just begging you to, and I spent too many years being superstitious and I just don’t do that anymore.
(But if I am brutally honest, there are some things I refuse to say out loud because, well, Murphy. And now I am writing within a bracket within a bracket, which means I’m inviting you into some inner inner thoughts and I am actually rethinking that because well, now it’s 1:37am and I seriously should be getting some sleep.
And I have to allow time for this gorgeously, heart breakingly melancholic lullaby….))

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