it begs a poem, doesn’t it?

pin cushion (2)

I was recently at my parents’. 
And I saw this-

a small pin cushion I had made for my mother when I was in high school, when I first learnt some cross stitching.

I can’t believe my mother is now eighty years old, and she is still using it!

Her sense of humour well and truly intact, as that spear of a needle in its right ear, was, initially, right in the middle of her forehead (that innocent bunny’s, not my mother’s).

It is funny about memory, because I had completely forgotten about it, of course, but as soon as I saw it, I remembered how upset I was that I had made a stitching mistake on its left ear. And I had somehow missed a couple of stitches on the other ear.  My sweet mother didn’t want me to fix it, but I remember how utterly crushed I was.

Yesterday I watched a video on a science site about intelligence.
Behold a short conversation I had with my husband this morning:

Me: I watched a video yesterday…blah blah…and it turns out I could be a perfectionist.
Husband: slowly closing refrigerator door…
come to think of it, I can’t describe, accurately, the look on his face…

Insecurities and other such fun things…

David Ruston

So I was merrily going my way along WordPress today, and then I saw a quote, (egads I hear you say)… it reminded me of something that had been on my mind, but wasn’t sure I should divulge.

I live, mostly, in a general state of bewilderment, and it has been such a wonderful surprise to discover the amount of other people on WP in such a state. I feel like we should be stretching out a big picnic blanket and then oohing and aahing over all of the somewhat disgustingly interesting food we would bring out of our baskets. (Just a forewarning…my food will be a perfect candidate for those “Nailed It” comparison posts on social media I never get sick of.) Plus, you will have to be patient with me as I fight urges to hug everyone, which I do constantly when I read your gut wrenching, devastatingly glorious writing.
But I think I am digressing, I’m not sure.

So, darn, I can’t remember what this post was going to be about…
Hopefully this very motivating link will remind me:
Poetic Motivations at Davy D’s blog. (Thanks again Davy.)

Oh yes, whenever I read interesting things about different writers and they start listing their favourite writers and influences, I am reminded of what a vast, empty space my mind can be, with maybe a cute kitten bumbling through every now and then. (Or maybe it’s a very small space, overcrowded by cute kittens, distracting me from not so cute things)…And also because my memory is awful.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to read. It’s just that I have so much trouble focussing, that I honestly haven’t done it very much in recent years. (Plus, any reading I have done has been theological by some rather brilliant friends.) So, I have been rather embarrassed about my neglect, but this quote reminded me of why I have more recently decided that I won’t be. Plus, it was never my goal to sound or read like anyone else.

Ugh, where am I going with this?

I think I have actually found a point…I am more than profoundly moved and inspired by the talent on WordPress. What a wonderfully therapeutic experience it has been. I am so grateful. Plus, you have reminded me of things that were buried, very deeply.

And to my remarkable parents, who are well educated and just plain intelligent.

And I am grateful to an old friend who planted the seed for me to start blogging in the first place. He doesn’t think I should give him any credit. (Maybe it’s because he has read my stuff hahaha.) But I am grateful to him more than I can ever say. In fact, through all of the years I have known him, he has busted out a few insightful things that have really helped me. He most likely doesn’t even remember. It doesn’t matter.

Anyway, I know I have said this before, but thank you, from the bottom of my heart. 

So…

here’s the thing…

I have some health issues that need tending to, and like a lot of people, it has been easy to neglect taking care of myself for a while now.
But I really have to.
So I am not going to be stalking all of you beloved WP talents as much as I normally would. And that’s A LOT. And I have done it unapologetically, because, quite frankly, you are amazing. And inspiring. And I cannot put into words how you have enhanced my life. So, thank you. From the deepest, and sometimes, weirdest, recesses of my heart 😛

I need to be spending some serious time “dancing” with my in-the-flesh life. I am trying to live by these wise guidelines, and I thought I would share them 😉

Prear's wedding Easter Sunday.jpg

I will still be around, just not as much.

And this song goes here because, well, I love it.

Oh and this.
Let’s dance. xo

It’s that time again…

that same time…always that exact time…1:27 am,
(although, yesterday, come to think of it, it was more like 11.30,
and then the night before it was 12.45,

and then, I think earlier in the week it was actually in the daytime, but it could have been 1.27pm, now I hadn’t thought of that, but I know it wasn’t 1.23 because I purposely don’t look at the clock at that time, and of course, there’s the whole 11.11 thing, which is another time I don’t look at the clock, because, well, it’s just begging you to, and I spent too many years being superstitious and I just don’t do that anymore.
(But if I am brutally honest, there are some things I refuse to say out loud because, well, Murphy. And now I am writing within a bracket within a bracket, which means I’m inviting you into some inner inner thoughts and I am actually rethinking that because well, now it’s 1:37am and I seriously should be getting some sleep.
And I have to allow time for this gorgeously, heart breakingly melancholic lullaby….))