welcome

This was something I posted back in March, but thought it probably belongs at the top here.
Basically, I’m rambling about my ineptitude to record my writing. But please consider it a slightly more personal “hello”, (as long and self indulgent as it is, it’s a little out of context) and, I mean, there’s tea involved…

~

A little while ago I did mention something about trying to upload some audio, (after some other bloggers and I had chatted about it) but it did not work for me. And then today, I guess all the required satellites, imaginary and otherwise, somehow lined up perfectly and it worked!

Trigger warning, I do reference the clown in me, in case you missed all the other references from Captain Obvious *eye roll. Also, this is not very exciting.

But, HI!

 

 

 

Drenched… (revisited)

 

in lost.

 

Willing sacrifice

to the haunting of nature’s

ephemeral linguistics,

so lovingly stripping

mind’s creases,

ribboned into staff –

the soft landing place for notes

beloved by two

abstractly wooded dreams.

Spring shoes of eucalypt scent

skipping through snow

and leaving imprints

I don’t want to follow home…

(PS. this video is mesmerising in full screen)

I’m looking at you, Presque vu and Déjà vu. These liaisons just aren’t funny.

 

Lyrics:

I’ve got a lot to say, I just don’t know how to say it
I know all the rules, I just can’t seem to play it
You can tick the boxes, follow the equation
But the knife wont budge until you learn patience
I’ve got notes to sing, I just can’t reach the words
They’re out on the ledge in the dark with the birds
But I’m trying to find them inside of you
Take my brain and break it in two

Melody,
you’re the only one who saves me
Out of the cold you take me
(Set me on fire)
You save me
(Set me on fire)

Melody,
all I want is to remember
what came before this winter
(Set me on fire)
Save me
Set me on fire

I’ve got a rock between my heart and mouth
I know how it got there but I can’t pull it out
And the bones that once moved my fingers over keys
Are protesting in fist on my knees
Gotta find a way to unzip my skin ’cause this is a stranger’s I’m living in

Melody, you’re the only one who saves me
Out of the cold you take me
(Set me on fire)
You save me
(Set me on fire)

Melody, all I want is to remember what came before this winter
(Set me on fire)
You save me
Set me on fire

(What came before the winter)
Set me on fire

Melody, you’re the only one who saves me
Out of the cold you take me
And set me on fire
You set me on fire

Melody, all I want is to remember what came before this winter
(Set me on fire)
Save me
Set me on fire

Melody, you’re the only one who saves me
You set me on fire

wednesday

It felt so much like a Wednesday – porous and drifting…
It wasn’t quite cold enough to start a fire, which kind of threw him. It’s always nice to have a fire to work by, when the Wednesday dig starts.  But he reasoned with himself that the digs were getting shallower. Dr. _____ said that was a good thing – the need was lessening, you know, to build defences from the debris he found. They thought he was inching closer to jumping off and grabbing the drifting instead.

He wasn’t sure. He looked down at his journal. Apparently he had been writing in it.

those notes are soaring above me, but there’s blood all over my un-reach. This is the refrain. I need to re-write the refrain. I need to let it rain.

I also need to work on my rhyming.
Maybe Friday.

 

 

anti-bio resistance

 

“Your iron is low, oh so low,

just take this supplement, it will help the tempo

because you’re not losing weight as your thyroid is slow,

so if you just lose some weight, you’ll help yourself glow

with vitality, and something else French sounding…”

no, wait, that was my mind screeching

to a day dreaming side step

and I have a few questions now, about the sound of us pretending
we have the time matching
this fee that you’re charging
to “bedazzle” me with reasoning
cyclical
while just reading something
from the back

of a sample drug pack

 

“why is my iron low?

Is it because of my liver, that it just doesn’t know

that my thyroid is struggling

with what doesn’t grow

our minds and our spirits,

and I would go on

 

but I’m tired”

 

 

it’s time to sleep

the reckoning and the reasoning and the ripening and then the sneezing

the forces unmeasured in the revolt and then the squeezing

of the music into lifelines that drip with hoped unheeding

and she’s covering her ears so no one sees the internal bleeding

with the streams of the thoughts she cannot appropriate

and the dreams and the oughts that she cannot estimate

within her fevered running soul that’s forgotten where it’s been

the itching of the scratch is not at all what they said it’d seem

and she holds the words in front of her in hands that shake with dread

they’re in her own heart language but unrecognized instead

in their current configuration that has come from somewhere other

and if only she could sleep now…

 

 

 

He was on his knees

rowing around her,

tears pleading silently

she floating, her lips silently moving

composing her symphony and compiling literary

moments he was desperate to understand

the ache to the point of unbearing

but she knew he just needed help hearing/hearting/breathing

she ever so gently

throws the life ring

 

 

quote challenge 3

She wanted to go back to the turquoise. She’d always loved the navy blue but now, her eyes sewn shut with the thread of trauma,  she couldn’t tell if she were in the navy blue or the black.  The black in his eyes when he showed her those images – jagged, psyche tearing shapes forced into her angel shaped child mind. It all changed that day. A contempt for beauty, for purity, smoked its way through her mortar and hallways. She swore her fingernails were green, bile green, from climbing the walls. She wanted to swim again in the navy blue but she knew she needed a shark cage now. She had to protect others from the sharks inside with her.
If she could just get back to the turquoise.

I thought long and hard about the quote for today. And a couple of bible verses kept coming back into my mind. For all kinds of reasons I won’t go into, I am thankful for them. So my quote for day 3 comes firstly from Paul’s letter to the church at Philippi:
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (ch4:8).

And the one that got me intrigued about neuroplasticity in the first place, years ago:
“…but be transformed by the renewal of your mind…” (Rom 12:2b).

Thank you so much Erroneous Choices, for challenging me. ❤

Quote challenge 2

So once again, I am not good at following rules, and I am not sure why there are any with these things, but anyway, I have decided I will try to stick with the three days.

My head could easily explode actually, trying to think of all of the things I have read and really loved. And then enter WordPress…I am flabbergasted at all of the wonderful things I have read on here – a lot of those gorgeous things from the artist who challenged me for this, actually, Erroneous Choices

But today, for all kinds of reasons, comic relief seemed to jump around in my mind.

A few years ago, I found this book I was planning to give to a friend. Turns out, the friend who received it was myself. ha! But it is called, ‘The Snark Handbook – Insult Edition’. Some of it is really funny. Some of it, really not.

I will begin with the poignant quotes on the back, about the author, Lawrence Dorfman:

“He knows so little and knows it so fluently” – by someone I have never heard of

“Ordinarily he is insane. But he has lucid moments when he is only stupid” – some Heinrich Heine guy (I told you I am bad with names).

But from the book itself, these are a few gems that have stuck out, that no doubt, I will be yelling out, accompanied by profanities, during my golden years of senility –

“He has depth but only on the surface”.

“The only thing that deprives her of the final word is an echo”.

“Why don’t we both go somewhere where we both can be alone?”

“Let’s play horse – I’ll be the head and you be yourself”.

“Well, I’d love to stay and chat, but you’re a total bitch”.  (Stewie from Family Guy).

 

I am not sure how to sign off after that last piece of gold, other than to say, you are welcome! LOL. Peace, love, and perspective, Everyone ❤

Quote challenge

Such an apt name for someone like me who is hopeless at remembering names and references! So this is quite a challenge! But I am honoured that this has come from someone I have grown to love as a dear friend, (not just as a phenomenal writing talent).

The wonder of WP, our lives are so different, but our connection is something I truly cherish, Erroneous Choices.

Continue reading

pep talk to myself

It’s cold but I ate some ice cream, coffee covered ice cream, and had a memory of the way we used to fill up on coffee beans from that one coffee shop in Colorado before hiking in the mountains, do you remember that? We’d stuff some in our pockets for the descent as well.

Or maybe that was just me.
You have that awful coffee hating gene mutation that I still pray there will be therapy for one day.

And here I am, on flat land, loading up on creamy caffeinated bliss for the descent I seem to be on. But I remind myself, I have lived long enough to know that this world is a circle hanging in space – which way is up? (We do have a world map with the correct orientation of Australia at the top, but I digress. Kind of).
Those descents can be deceiving.

I’m having more ice cream. You can join me any time.

ABOUT A WOMAN

This is so very beautiful. If you have the time, watch the gorgeously crafted video.

VOICES OF A HIDDEN SELF

Introduction

The following poem is about true love, a love that is both complete and all consuming, a love that those who know of it must surely be blessed. It is therefore not about a specific woman but is from my own experience, the words are how I describe this wonder.

The first verse is I feel self-explanatory. The following two verses I would like to explain for anyone who may be interested. The second verse is about how lovers become totally absorbed by the emotional, psychological and physical union they find themselves in, to the point that the rest of the world is superfluous. It is a solitude of utter peace and contentment, a comfort, a completeness that comes from knowing all about a person and accepting them in their entirety.

The second verse conveys the randomness, the chance, the confluence of paths and that sudden moment that all…

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He did one of those smiles, like the ones he’d smile when he thought of that colour he can’t remember anymore.  And now he saw the million shades of it in the child’s demeanour, making him stop thinking in short sentences and blanks. Her ethereal sweetness should surely stop all wars. It had surely stopped his heart. He unconsciously placed his hand on his chest as he quietly mourned the distance between childhood and this peak hour traffic. Everyone’s life flashing before everyone’s eyes, but then the channel is changed.

He wept. Courage and hope.
While taking the batteries out of the remote.

Lyrics:

Continue reading

(How perfect you are, o purveyor of artist’s soundless voice
to express my utter bewilderment at humans’ flailing choice-
s…)

grey metal hammer
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

No, you are not a divinely appointed player

to use and discard “toys” as you see fit

the creative souls in cyber land

to pluck as you cry, “I quit”

while winking at another

fingers crossed behind your back

be creative with your score card –

notches? or marks scrawled in black?

 

O precious souls so broken,

your self worth is left in tatters

I know you crave deep healing

but this is not what matters –

 

to be “chosen” by a phantom

when your worth is beyond their sight

you matter just in being,

their attention – darkest night.

 

Take the hands of those who care now

the lifelines that they offer

protecting pride is useless

when it’s safety that they proffer.

 

Humans, look what we do

when we confuse the tools we need

 

to really see each other…

 

 

skein

And while she was

clawing out

the sub conscious ponderings

on definition a, b or c

(in the smallest font in the quietest corner)

of her defeated-ness,

she saw their labyrinthine thread

had finally severed.

 

Her heart stilled,

begging for calibration,

a gentle reworking –

the intricate cut-outs of their pain

into simple shapes.

 

(this beautiful song, and video of estranged brothers reunited)

Sad News

My goodness, what a sad loss to the WP community.
How truly blessed, to have crossed cyber paths with such a wonderful person. RIP 🌸

Poesy plus Polemics

It is with deep regret that I to have to announce the sudden passing of my father Paul Lenzi.  He was the cornerstone of our family and will be missed dearly.

He began this blog as a creative outlet and as a way of sharing his poetry. He never imagined it would develop such a large following, and the overwhelming support he received from this community touched him deeply.  On behalf of our entire family, thank you.

We are proud of the legacy of words he left behind.

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